My Haul

Well for the most anticipated blog posting of the week.

This week i got


Nothing
Not a fucking thing.
The only thing coming out today that i was going to get was Green lantern but that can wait till next week. (as long as none of you fuckers spoil it for me).

I did read at my Lunch however Dark Ivory #1.

This book is written my Linsner and Eva Hopkins and drawn by Linsner.

The art blew me away. Man can Linsner draw a set of tits. beautiful. The Kind you want to bury your face in and just move your mouth back and forth. So realistic and perky. (at least in my fantasy world). The only problem i have with linsner is that all his eyes are the same. If you are not looking at the actual page you would have a hard time telling if it is Claws, Dawn, or Dark Ivory. But fuck is it Hot.

The writing is pretty good. Every character has a distinct voice. It was a little EMO for me but you know what you are getting when you buy a Joe Linsner book.

The story is about a goth Kid who does not get a long with her family and sneaks out to clubs at night. On one of these occasion she encounters a girl that seems to have her neck sliced open and is screaming about someone trying to bite her. We are also introduced to a couple of other ancillary characters as well as Esque the Vampire(who was one of linsner's original characters from the Angry Christ Comics).

If you like Vampire Tales, Goth kids, or nicely drawn tits this book is for you.

Talk to you later,

TJ

Cousin Oliver Theory

OK here is something that I see going on.

If you don't read Lying in the Gutters then some of this may be spoilers for you. (That is if you believe anything that lying in the gutters puts out.)

We all know Grant Morrison is a crazy Fuck. Well Rich Johnson in his Lying in the gutters rumor column on comic book resources reported that Grants original plan for Final Crisis was to Kill all of the Heroes and make them into legacy characters. The original heroes would become the new gods of the Fifth world and there mantles be taken over by the legacies. Supposedly DC went a little nuts and said "Grant please stay off the acid for a minute."

Well I just realised that sort of subtly DC has added kids to the mix of three of their big characters. First Damian is brought into continuity for Batman also at the end of one year later he officially adopts Tim Drake. Next we have superman and the boy he found in the Johns Donner action issues. I believe there was talk of him adopting the kid but who the fuck knows because that series came out a year and a half ago and is still not fucking finished. And lastly we have the Flash Retard twins. Add these five to Roy (Green Arrows Kid) and i see the potential for the original storyline.

I mean why go the pains of giving these people family unless you are going to give me the joy of reading these families getting torn the fuck apart. Maybe the report of DC going crazy was just put people off the trail and this may still be their plan. Fuck what a crazy idea this would be.

Then again we all know what a debacle the atom/monarch story line became once that got leaked so maybe DC is trying not have that happen again.

Well just some food for thought.

TJ

Batman 675

Today's Review is Batman 675

I really feel like being lazy so you can forget me going and finding the cover art, saving the shit and then posting it here.

This is written by Grant Morrison and the (ahem) art is by Ryan Benjamin.

Holy shit is the Art fucking bad. Bruce Wayne looks like he should be in an old persons home. I truly believe that this motherfucker got bored drawing for the night and decided to play tic tac toe with whoever he lives with. They must not of had paper so he decided to use the latest batman pages he was working on. Forgot to erase the lines from the game before he sent them to the inker and that is who they got in the book. Or maybe he is just that fucking bad. Either way thank god Tony Daniel is back next issue.

The writing is great and really saved the fuck out of this issue. i mean it is Grant Fucking Morrison. You either love him or are Nancy Reagan. ("Just say No" god i stretch for jokes sometimes and i bet they aren't even funny to most people.) I think my buddy Kevin Summed up Morrison in a recent call we had. When asked if he liked the issue he said "It was great." I asked if he like the writing and he said "I never understand Morrison but i know i like it." Again i am paraphrasing because i fucking feel like it (you gotta problem with that the next blog button is right on top of the page.) (I don't really mean that but i feel Feisty today.)

In the issue Bruce is out to dinner with his love interest. a Fucking Great Villain that has Eyes in all his Fingers comes in and decides to Fuck shit up. Bruce lets his batman persona come through even without the cape and cowl. His new love interest realises what we all know. Also some shit goes down with Talia and Damian as well as with robin and Nightwing.

Next up Batman RIP and if lying in the gutters is correct (which is almost never) then we are in for a helluva ride.

Just had a little revelation and will post on that later.

Talk to y'all later,

TJ

Twitter

So I signed up for twitter now.

I truly have no clue what the fuck it is or what i am doing.

You can follow me by visiting http://twitter.com/gardnerisgod. (man that sounds creepy).

I think that when i have shorter condensed thoughts i can put it on here and it will be sent as a txt message to everyone who subscribed but really I have no fucking clue.

(great salesman aren't I)

Can you tell i haven't drank my coffee yet this morning.

Talk to you later,

TJ

My Haul

Hey everyone. Sorry about no post last week. Kind of hectic and wasn't in the mood.

Anyway this is what i got this week:

Countdown 1
Batman
Spawn

Now Last week i got Countdown 2 (obviously) and i loved it. I mean of course there were little things to question but sometimes i think that people get too hung up in continuity and forget we are basically reading fantasy Fiction. The battles scenes were great as was everything else in the issue (IMHO)(god i hate that initial shit sometimes i am on forums and spend more time wondering what the fuck those letters stand for then reading the actual post). The last battle between Orion and Darkseid was fucking unbelievable and I loved the art.

I thought this was going to a universal consensus so i posted on the CGS Forums "holy fuck was that a great issue" (actually i could give two shits what others think i would of loved it either way) but i was very surprised when the thread turned against me. Man did people hate that issue. The best reply to me was From VinceB (former host of the Bullpen Bulletins Podcast) who wrote (and i am paraphrasing because i am too fucking lazy to find the quote and use the hyperlink to the thread) "You must have got the special incentive Variant where they take the cover of countdown and put it around a comic that is actually good. Bag that shit fast because it will be worth something". Hilarious indeed.

So this week i open my bag and pull out countdown 1 which i expect to start off right where the last issue left off. Not a fucking chance. What a piece of Shit of a comic. Motherfucking DC has done it to me. This issue felt like the little credits you see at the end of a movie that tells you what the characters are doing now. (and this has only worked twice ...Fast Times and Animal House). The Art Annoyed me because every fucking guy had the same damn hair. I mean the only difference between looking at Olsen and Palmer was that Palmer had slightly Browner hair.
Fuck i bought 52 Motherfucking issues to get left with this bullshit. Oh one thing it did do is set up a new series with the five characters i couldn't stand in this shit. Donna Troy, Kyle Rayner, Forager, Ray Palmer, Jimmy Olsen are know the Watchers who Monitor the Monitors.

So let me get this straight; The gay Artist Lantern, The Wonderwoman that isn't wonderwoman but is sometimes still in continuity but not always, The new god that no one knows, an Annoying sidekick with catch phrases like "Golly Superman", and the fucking atom. Fuck man what a waste of good paper. i think Al Fucking Gore should be all over these assholes for wasting the energy and paper resources that it took them to come up with this.

Good thing you have some commodity built up with me DC otherwise i would cut you out like i did Marvel after Civil War. (i know they were shaking in their boots over that one).

Fuck I'm Pissed,

Talk to y'all later.

TJ

Echo #1

For the rare Sunday review I will be talking about Echo #1 

This is Terry Moore's First big project after he ended is Legendary indy run on Strangers in Paradise.  He does everything in this book.

The art is Pretty good.  It didn't make me proclaim him the next Kirby or Jeff smith Even but it was serviceable.  Some people act  this man

god among indy creators but i Hope it is not for the art.  (then again i am judging this off of one issue, I am a judgemental fuck aren't I)

The writing was pretty good. The story moved along at a decent pace.  People had there own voices but if it wasn't paired with the art i sometimes wouldn't been able to distinguish a few of them.

The story starts out at a military out post where it seems they are testing out some sort of war suit.  The last test comes in and it is a missile test.  The person in the suit needs to be hit with a missile out check the durability.  Things go awry and next we are focused on a photographer that happens to be in the area of this test.  She notices an explosion in the air and little metal pellets dropping all around her.  The stick to her and she goes home and the seem to assimilate back into the suit but this time on her.

I say seems because this is one of the problems i have with the book.  I understand it is indy and most indy books are black and white.  This helps cut down on cost (and stays true to the art form , Man).  But when you are dealing with Black and white you sure as shit better be drawing the fuck out of the book so i can distinguish different things.  Towards the end of this book the Photog picks something up and it seriously looks like a Snake that a elementary student would draw.  I had no clue.

My second problem with the book is the choice of paper stock.  I know i am being a nit picky bastard right now but i seriously thought that DCBS sent me a coloring book by mistake when i picked this up.  My wife thought that too and actually asked me "Are they doing Color your own comics now".  Again i understand when you have a smaller print run Economies of scale come into play and you sometime need to cut somethings but Holy shit was this bad.

I have the next two ordered and will let y'all know if i stay on it or not (because i know you live a die by my pull list)

Talk to you later,

TJ

 

My Haul

Pretty Good week this week at the LCS:



Countdown 3

Amazing Spiderman

Doktor Sleepless #6

And From last week: Action Comics.



So last night i had a conference call with a bunch of friends that we disguise as talking about previews. We actually talk more about our lives then the actual comics but thats cool.



Through the conversation my one buddy Mike mentions to me and James (comic book savant) that he feels like we are taking ourselves a little too seriously. He said to him (and i am paraphrasing because i cannot remember what i did five minutes ago never mind what the fuck was said last night) we were not having fun reading our books and seemed like it was a job. I blew this off thinking "no fucking way".



Well today at lunch i was reading Action comics. As i was reading i found my head nit picking all little things. Thinking in my head how campy this thing was and how there is a million ways i could put this book down in a funny way. Here's the Rub: I was smiling the entire issue because i was loving the campy goodness.



If i start to view this Blog as a job and not fun then damn it i need to hang up the keyboard. I have a motherfucking job that i get paid too little to do ill be damned if i am going to have one that i don't get paid for.

Mike (redjakk),

Thank you for pointing this out to me. i actually enjoyed my books like i haven''t in a while.

TJ

Raging Bullets

As you all know I am a big fan of podcast.

One of the Podcast that i listen to and love is Raging Bullets. This is a DC Centric Podcast that is hosted by Sean and Jim. I met them for a very brief time at episode 300 for CGS. Truly two of the nicest guys you will ever come across. Also two of the most positive guys you will ever come across.

This takes me to today's post. If you read yesterdays you would know that i am really down on the Flash series that is currently coming out of DC. Well I was listening to Episode 64 of raging bullets and they were also talking about the same series and the exact issue i was.

These positive fuckers (and i am saying that as the highest praise because really do like these guys) were praising the book left and right about how they are focusing on the family aspect of the book.

Now this is how good these two guys are. As they were reviewing the issue i began to doubt my own review. For Christ sake maybe the book is good. I must be missing something. These guys were having me doubt my own opinions. Holy shit i didn't think that was possible.

I don't know if you two read my blog but Holy shit you guys are two of the most positive people when it comes to titles but I know that you are not blowing smoke up your listeners asses because You always have well thought out reasons as to why you like a book.

I love your show and will always be a listener. And i also suggest to all my readers that are not listening to this show at least give one episode a shot. You can find it at http://www.ragingbullets.com/.

More later,

TJ

Salvation Run #'s 2, 3, & 4

Todays second batch of reviews are Salvation Run #'s 2, 3, & 4

Salvation Run #2 is written by Bill Willingham and the art is by Sean Chen.

Sean Chen is hitting it out of the ballpark with the art on this book. Man can this man draw his fucking villains. It really is fantastic.

Willingham writing is OK but sometimes I think the man is in love with his own words. I mean he by far not into the self love as much as a Claremont (i mean christ sometimes i think chris claremont has a bottle of KY that directly comes out of his pores) but i feel like he doesn't trust the artist to complete the story for him.

The story is getting there. I really didn't love issue one but it was already preordered up until 3 so i though i would keep trying it. This issue centers around a lot of B listers still finding there way on the prison planet. The saving grace of this book is the Characterization of the Joker towards the end which i think is spot on.

Issue 2 and 3 are written by Matt Sturges and the art is still by Sean Chen.

The art seems to be getting better and better here. I truly think that issue four was amazing.

Now the writing i was expecting to be lackluster. I mean Willingham is an established writer and Sturges i never heard of. ( then again until a few years ago i never really paid much attention to art or writer so I'm sure there are tons of people that i never heard of). Boy was i wrong. Sturges seems to be just as good if not better then willingham in this book. he really lets the art do its job.

The story now shifts the villains into two camps. Either Jokers semi Psychopathic group that want to control the island or Luthors scientific group that wishes to find a way off. It really is a great analysis of the two villains groups. Plus issue four is a monkey battle Royale and how the fuck can you go wrong with that.

I was kind of hoping that this book would be as bad as Gotham underground because then i was going to completely stop buying any mini and if i heard anything good then i would later buy the trade.

Oh well it is not like i wouldn't buy Reign in Hell that features Etrigan on the cover of #1.

Talk to you later,

TJ

Flash #238

Todays review is Flash #238

This book is Written by Tom Peyer; Art and Cover by Freddie Williams II.

The art is great. IF you have seen and FEW II art you know what i am talking about. There are some pages I would love to buy if i had the money. I wish Freddie was doing more books in DC because i would buy them in a heartbeat and this is why the ending of this review hearts so much. (more later)

The writing is ... well it is there. I guess it is OK. I fell asleep reading it. I thought maybe i was just tired when reading so i decided to give it another go today. Yeah same result. I was almost late for work because i found myself nodding off in my car.

The story centers around a new villain. To tell you the truth i don't remember his Fucking name that is how good this book was. Earthquakes happen the Fucking kids are worried. Wally is worried about money. He lets that slip to the media and now everyone hates him. Some other shit happened but to tell you the truth i truly did not give a shit.

No those that know me know that the flash is my guy. Between him a green lantern ... well as long as these two books are good everything else DC could be utter shit and i would not care. Why can't anyone write good flash stories anymore. It seemed like a great idea to bring Waid back on but that was complete nonsense because it felt like he had an agenda to push the Fucking twit twins down our damn throats. It was like he was saying "I wrote all the flash stories i wanted to write. This is just a gimmick anyway having me write this again. Lets make this more about the kids". Then i found out he wasn't going to write this anymore and i was actually happy. Then the fill in writer was Keith Champagne. This man is quite possibly the worst writer in Comics next to (and maybe equal to) Chuck Austen. Now Tom Peyer and I am this fucking close to not reading Flash anymore. My only hope is that in Final Crisis that crazy fuck that is Grant Morrison decides to sacrifice the kids and also the spoiler about the leader of the Black Lanterns. (read LITG on comic book resources if you want that info)

Flash i have almost tapped out. Please come back to me.

TJ

My new toy

OK folks as i hinted at yesterday i finally got my new toy.

Here is my brand new 24" 2.4 ghz iMac. This thing is fucking gorgeous. I've had to wipe the drool off the keyboard many o fucking time. (OK maybe it wasn't drool but that is what i tell my wife).

I know i mentioned this before but let me state again, when it comes to tech shit i am a complete moron and i truly was expecting on setting this up all night long.

First it came at the worst possible time. Tuesday. This is the night that my wife works late so i have to look after the kid for the evening until bedtime. Let me just say that she went to bed a little early this night.

So the first thing i do is take out the monitor and attempt to install the RAM that i purchased. My buddy Dave left me his small screw driver set for this because not only am i a tech moron but i cannot even do the simplest DIY stuff. You know how a lot of you had fathers that taught you how to build things well my father taught me how to pay someone else to do it. I didn't have a fucking screwdriver in the house. Well none of the screwdrivers fit exactly and i kind of had to rig a flathead to fit in there. I got the ram in no problem and was amazed at myself.

So next i set it up and turn it on. Check system profile and it says 4gb RAM installed. Great job done. Next thing i do is check the Hard drive because i heard of a lot of people getting HD upgrades on the refurbs. Well i paid for 320gb and they shipped me the 500gb. This shit never happens to me. i was truly expecting that they would have forgotten to put the HD in or something fucking wacky to comp for all the people getting the bigger ones.

Next i plug in the Ethernet and it automatically finds the network. great. Next step plug in the printer. Luckily i found the mac disk for the printer and was holding it in front of the screen ready to put it in. As i was going towards the drive the damn computer tells me that it found my printer and had already downloaded the proper drivers. Holy fuck in heaven nothing works this easy for me.

Since this is going so smoothly i say what the fuck and try to transfer files over my network from my Windows laptop to iTunes and iPic. I read a lot about how to do this and how i need to find the computers ip address and input it into some fucking menu and then hit transfer and then (wow i am typing and then a lot) find the appropriate folder on the mac. Well i set up file sharing on the laptop, go to the mac, open finder and the fucking folder is there already. i simply drag the folder into itunes and all of my music is imported . The same with the photos.

Seriously people. i think everyone should have one of these. This is the greatest computer for someone who knows nothing about computers because (get ready for the cliche..... Ready......Are you really ready) "it just works".

Now before i got my iMac i heard of this thing on youtube called "unboxing porn". i thought it was the stupidest thing in the world. Why the hell would people watch a video on people just unboxing there new macs. Yeah well after watching these for a day straight i was amazed that i was getting that funny feeling in the nether regions. So here are some of the components of the iMac for anyone that would be interested

Keyboard. Look at how thin this motherfucker is. I mean yeah I am a fat fuck with huge sausage hands but still this thing is fucking thin. Amazing shit. In fact the only problem i have with the computer is that they made the cord on this bastard too short so i cannot have it on my slide out drawer Oh Fucking well

The Mouse . Yeah nothing i can say about that. Just a plain old Mouse. Fuck that man this is the Mighty Mouse. Yeah i know just marketing but i feel for it.

The remote. This thing is beautiful. You can control slide shows, movies, music and (man i just tried to think of something funny to say and was failing miserably in my own head so i will spare you the ridiculous humor). Great little thing.

And the screen shot. 24" of beauty my friends.

Lastly here is the complete shot of the whole thing yet again.

Sorry about such a long post and if you got through the whole thing may the lord Jesus bless you and all your heirs.

I know it is funnier when shit goes wrong for me but Fuck a man can get lucky sometime.

Talk to you all later,

TJ

My Haul

Sorry about the no Hy haul posting last week.

I'm sure you will get over it.

My Haul this week was OK:

Spidey 555
The boys 16
Countdown 4
Detective 843
Secret Invasion 1

Now to all you marvel Zombies out there I have a question. I ordered Secret Invasion Prologue from my online source. I have read nothing of this. I still want to see what is happening in the marvel U so i thought i should get on this event. I won't be getting my prologue until the end of the month. Do you all think that i should wait to read that before i read issue one of this?

I also refuse to buy any of the tie in that i am not already getting. Civil war is one of the reasons that i no longer buy a lot of Marvel. I purchased 93 comics for that fucking event. I also love how Marvel put on the cover of the main book. "A marvel event in 6 parts" Fuck you. Man i am getting fucking pissed off all over again.

So here is my plea to all of you Marvel Zombies. Every week in my haul I will end with a question about what happened in the Secret Invasion tie ins. If you could please answer me in comments that would be great. Please do not spoil the books i already get.

The marvel books i get are:
Captain America
Amazing Spiderman
Thor
Punisher Max
Thunderbolts

Thats it pretty much. So if you can help me out it will be great.

Thank you.

TJ

Gotham Underground 4 & 5

Sorry about the long break between post. I have been busy at work and god knows i don't do this in my free time. Actually busy at work is sort of a misnomer. I have been busy at work studying all things Mac and Apple as my computer arrived last night and what a fucking machine that is. Well let me do some comics things and possibly tomorrow i will post some pics of my new sweet ass computer.

Lets start today with a two for one. Gotham Underground #4 & 5


















This book is Written by Frank Tieri; Art by J. Calafiore & Jack Purcell (yeah i just copied and pasted that because that is the type of mood i am in.


First i will do the basics then i will go into a fucking rant.

The art is very good. i really like how the characters are drawn. (how is that for basic.

The writing is OK. Each character does have their own voice (and there are a ton of characters). There is nothing that keeps me going though other then i have ordered till 7 and i feel like i am pot committed.

The story is about the criminals of Gotham trying to figure out who is in charge and Batman going underground to try to find the same answer. A concept that should be great but i feel like it is not being executed as well as it could be.

Now the things that are pissing me off. Take a quick look at the two covers that i posted. Robin and nightwing right. Can you guess what role they had in these two issues? I bet you can if you know me. Not a fucking thing. I feel like Calafiore said to editorial "i can draw the fuck out of nightwing and Robin. This story is based in Gotham. How about we make those two the covers?" Hopefully editorial came back with "Well Jim those two characters play rather minor roles don't you think a pic of the criminals that play a role would be better?" Calafiore would then come back with "I guess" and then go crying and pouting into the corner until they allow him to draw the covers he wants. I don't know if that is exactly how it went but in mind it is.

The other thing that pissed me off is that in issue 5 they decided to make all the panels into little puzzle pieces and to be fucking coy with me by removing the puzzle piece that would be in front of the face of the character that would be the big reveal. Fuck you this is a gimmick that belongs in a child's book. it is not original and it drew me so far out of the story that i could have been reading the greatest book over all and would still have been saying to myself "why are all these fucking puzzle pieces all over the place". Very sloppy and very annoying.

I would not recommend this book. i would not recommend the trade.

Well I will talk to you all later.

TJ